Always There

For the past 3 or 4 four years I've had a lot of opportunities to give my testimony, and it has varied quite a bit at various times.  About a month ago I had the chance to talk with one of my good friends about what God had been doing in my life, and I realized that I had been telling my story of faith wrong.  I based it a lot on myself without meaning to.  I struggled a lot in high school and I thought that kept me from God's love, but what I realized was God has been drawing me further in and closer to Him since the day I asked Him to be Savior when I was only five.  

The best way I could think of to explain this was using the stories about Narnia.  The children journey to Narnia and fall in love with the lion king Aslan, and he always calls them further into the adventure.  Finally, in the last book he calls them further in one last time, and they reach "Aslan's Country."  The Pevensie children go through many wonderful times and many struggles on their journey, but each time find themselves closer to their king and closer to the time they get to stay with him forever.

During my life I've had times when I wanted Jesus to be my best friend forever, and I wanted to give everything I am to Him.  However, at other times I've wanted to be done with this Christianity stuff and couldn't have cared less what He thought about what I did or what He had done for me.  Am I proud of those times? No, no I'm not, but I believe God was still drawing me closer through those times.  No matter where my own heart was - God was still next to me. Loving me. Waiting for me. Calling me to come further in.

My heart echoes the cry of King David, "For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.  Upon you I have leaned from before your birth; you are he who took me from my  mother's womb...O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds." - Psalm 71:5-6, 17

There may be times in your life when you think that maybe God wasn't there or He didn't care anymore.  Maybe because you had messed up or because the world itself seemed messed up.  But I think you'll find that as you look back at your life there was never a step where God left you. He was there - leading you to the place you needed to be. He will never leave you. And He will never forsake you.

New Chapter

And so it begins...I am officially living the live of an in-betweener. 
My summer team work is finished.
I moved into my first apartment.
I started a new job.
School is on the back burner.
And...
I'm not sure what to do with myself.

All I know is this will be a year like nothing I've experienced before.  Something that God has been teaching me is that to live for yourself, well, it's not really a fulfilling life.  I'm curious to see what God has in store, and I feel like this lesson will continue for quite sometime.  I'm sure it will be a painful lesson at times, but I also know that it will be filled with joy - because, really, God is joy - so to follow God means that there will be joy. And hope. And peace. I can't wait to start sharing the adventures He leads me to...but for now I think I'll go have a cup of coffee with my mom.